coupling and other toddler adventures

This post has been in the draft stage for a month; I finally bothered to finish it today.

Colin, for whom the world is his station yard, is playing trains on the kitchen table with two plastic cars, a beaded hemp bracelet, and a plush Remy the Rat. He is using Remy's tail to try to couple with the other "railcars" while humming the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song to himself. Well, he certainly doesn't lack imagination.

We had our first adventure with The Toddler Sticking Things Up His Nose the other day. While we were all sitting at the breakfast table, Marky did something extra cute, and while Peter and I both looked at him, Colin took advantage of the brief (and highly unusual) lapse in parental supervision to shove a large wad of paper up his left nostril. We both turned around just in time to see him jerk his hand away from his nose with a guilty air, then burst into tears as he realized his actions were resulting in some serious discomfort.

Mind you, since we didn't actually see the paper go in, we weren't sure it was in there-- but he was awfully upset. So I took him from his high chair and peered up his nose while he screamed. All was dark-- dark and snotty.

The snot reminded me of the bulb syringe, which I went upstairs and hunted and down into the basement and hunted and finally came back to the main level and hunted and found in the bottom of the toy bin. So I held him down again, dribbled saline into his nostril, and sucked away. No dice. Or paper.

I turned to tell Peter, who was still at the dinner table attempting to feed Marky, that I though we might have to take Colin to the emergency room (although I was reluctant, because how embarrassing if we took him to the ER and there was nothing in his nose? How embarrassing and expensive? And wasn't I a dreadful mother for even thinking about my own embarrassment and expense when the life of my child was at stake because a wad of paper was working its way toward his brain??? You see how my mind works).

As I turned, Colin paused in his crying to sneeze a very wet sneeze, and I felt something wet and warm thud onto my bare flesh.


At least we didn't have to take him to the ER.

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